What relationship advice for teenager sibling?

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Let begin with the definition of Teenager!……….

The teenager……..the term of which all are aware but the most interesting aspect is the teenager himself/herself not aware of that and its consequences.

 As per biological term a young person whose age falls within the range from 13 -19 years, are called teenagers because their age number ends with ‘teen’. During puberty, rapid mental and physical development occurs. Adolescence is the name for this transition period from childhood to parenthood.

I already portrayed about a sibling’s real life horror story in my latest post ….”What relationship advice for horrific lascivious sibling?“, where I narrated about the sibling that how their long age gap of 12 years turned to over possessiveness and openness where even they forget the limitation of their relationship and the result ultimately went to the extreme of physical intimacy between them.

Their frankness towards each other never felt them disinclined ever in any aspect of their life, even doesn’t bother for privacy of locking their room during changing their dress because for both they were sibling who took birth from the same womb of their mother and moreover when they were habituated of living the careless life without any shy or privacy since ages then how could they suddenly behave the opposite way of reserve and cautious about their physic.

Elder sibling should follow the vital perspective towards their teenage sibling…..

  • Don’t be over possessive towards your teenage sibling as its the root cause for the cultivation of jealousy and obsession.
  • Make them learn from the beginning that you also have some privacy in your personal life.
  • Too much extrovert and boldness towards your own matured life openly in front of them may destruct the teenager’s concentration.
  • Due to which privacy is significant, so lock your room while you engrossing in your own private life.
  • Taught them the difference in the parameter of affection for each individual relationship.
  • Don’t indulge or ignore their irrational behavior.
  • Along with love, strictness also mandatory towards your junior so that they should obey and respect you also.

 Is really long age gap between sibling healthy ?………

We have seen that sibling with less age gap say from 1 to 5 years always treat like friends where they get the opportunity to grow up with handhold. Where they both are quite known about their same physical structure and mindset. Where they learned each and everything almost parallel way.

Now when the age distance raises above 6 to 15 years or more, then everything from physical to emotional mindset varies between them. As now when the elder one is standing on adolescence but the younger one still in its infancy, and exactly from that crucial phase psychology turned towards each other. As the elder forever treats with the younger like a kid whether the younger with time reach to its teenage but still not ready to accept its mindset by avoiding its adolescence. Here begin the fluctuation and things slowly go worst with the passing of time.

How psychology fluctuates?…..……...

Adolescence can be a difficult time for both teens and their parents. In this stage of development many hormonal, physical and cognitive changes occur.

A teenager mentality popped up with various unusual thoughts because those are unknown factors for them and when they query from us in their ease accent about such things which makes us feel quite funny towards their thoughts. Which many times embarrasses them in front of us and they opt for suppress those queries within them for saving them self from the hand of mockery by others.

Now with the aid of fast technology even they don’t bother to query from us because of they now more comfortable with social media at least where none will mock on their such queries.

But the thing is it’s more hazardous for them because they get to know beyond their subject of the query from that tool. For example, in my post where the teenager has curious about lingerie and about which when he asked about bandeau and the difference in shorts for girls and boys then his elder sister explained him thoroughly without hesitant.

Physical changes became discomfort………

As of now neither parents nor even teachers elaborately explain all those to a teenager for which their thoughts and strange query about biological changes are quite natural.

With the beginning of puberty when the teens undergo with emotional and behavioral changes. Again when the teenage first time met with ejaculation, which occurs on average at age of 13 years. All those sudden changes were enough to feel discomfort.

With the growing of hormones in his 16 years old when now suddenly the teenager found his young elder young sibling having sex with her boyfriend then his desires erupts. He one night suddenly discharges semen in his shorts. He felt yakkk……….

Is too much frankness healthy?..…………..

Every relationship has possessed its certain limits which beyond if we go then it’s turned unhealthy. The long age gap between sibling often makes them incautious towards each other like when the elder desperately ignored the younger’s adolescence and openly do their sophisticated activities in front of a teenager inexperienced guy then it’s quite obvious for premature ejaculation Which even forced a teenager for self-gratification.

Then it’s proved that the elder’s frequent mature activities very openly about their personal sex life are the root cause of arousal within the teenager.

Affection when turned to possessiveness….…….

We all are more or less possessive towards our closed one’s love and caring but as we grow towards maturity with time we firmly differentiate the caring towards each sole relationship. But a teenager since infancy to up to the age of 15 or 16 years circumstantially so accustomed to their closed one’s caring that suddenly it does not so ease to accept some third person’s interference in their closed one’s life to shared out their proportion of affection. When a teenager’s possessiveness cultivates the jealousy and ultimately which outburst with their arrogance. As the immature mindset failed to differentiate the definition and parameter of affection towards each relationship.

 Why obsession forget its limits?……………

The unstable mind of teenager become so obsessed and whimsical sometimes that even its arrogance ready to cross the limit by abolishing the definition of relationship.

Which I narrated in my post when the teenager did coitus with his adorable sister young elder when he found that her sister doing foreplay with her boyfriend and was about to do for their coition then he outbursts and forgets his each limit.

Why this audacity happened?…………….

This is all root cause of our over leniency and ingenuous towards our teenage sibling. This is the very crucial phase of life when you neither be harsh with them nor too much soft. Better handle them like a mature person and make them understand to each vital aspect of life thoroughly under your hard observation because an elder sibling it’s your responsibility to show them right path of life.

As a sibling only has the liberty to know their younger’s each standpoint because friend circle is supposed for our few particular moments of life not for 24*365 and for parents it’s not always possible due to their busy life to query for each aspect and moreover after a certain period of time we become reserve with our parents also.

Then sibling is the only and last option left for us who in real mean could show us a right path of life because they are aware of our each vein thoroughly where either by following them we could demote or promote our life.

For all those elder sibling’s responsibility is forever the highest for built up their younger sibling’s life.

 

 

 

Getting over someone you love!

Olena broke her ex’s, heart. She left Ryan when he wanted to stay. She decided to separate even when Ryan wanted to be together. It’s one of the most difficult decisions of her life though she knew that she was breaking his heart but she also knew that she could never be happy. Olena doesn’t regret the decisions at all but remembers how much it hurt Ryan still brings tears to her eyes.

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Beginning of short love story……………..

Olena was in the 1st year and Ryan in 2nd year fallen in love …post meeting they started chatting on Whatsapp for hours together talking about each other life and other liking and disliking. So in that way, their friendship depended into more than friendship… and there used to be days when they cannot live a day without talking to each other!

It’s was one day, that they were talking normally and then he proposed by saying her angel of his life all of a sudden…. She cannot face it immediately so instantly started crying like anything and then asked him to give her one day to think but she actually took a whole week to decide and he patiently waited for her answer… and said plz don’t cry… and then she said yes happily and came to the relationship!

There are certain times and certain relations in life that just aren’t means to be. Ryan is a gem of a person and she not bad either.

Ryan being loyal and kind, he used to really took care of her and Olena always shyly looked at him. They used to help each other in studies and other problems of life which they faced. There were many obstacles in their relationships but yet they solved it naturedly. Olena was so happy as if she was the happiest girl in this world… they also shared their secrets, dreams, and goals of life.. all went well!

The breakup…………

 They both loved each other dearly. But somehow, as partners, they couldn’t work. They wanted such different things, that it was a constant effort.

Post completed 5-6 months of their relationship, there was a change in behavior and one day Ryan told that he wasn’t feeling comfortable in this relationship and said it’s like a burden and wanted to end this for his academics. So Olena understood his problems and she also decided to just break it up, it was really hard to decide but she always wished that for her nobody should get any problems, it’s his principle of life. She took that decision since he was repeatedly asked for the breakup. She was unhappy by heart but cannot continue this relationship!

After a while, they both gave up. They stopped taking efforts. They stopped asking and they stopped responding. They stopped fighting and they stopped disagreeing. They stopped every kind of engagement. While Ryan took it as a normal thing, she couldn’t. It wasn’t normal for her and it wasn’t what she wanted.

Even though Olena broke his heart, Ryan showed enormous courage and bigness of it. Even though Olena broke his heart, very few people know that it broke her as well.

Post break up………….

After break up, she terribly misses him sometimes but still, they were best friends like before and happy that she didn’t lose him completely. Surprisingly, despite the heartbreaks and pain, with time, their friendship grew. As they parted, they understood each other far more than before. They saw each other in a different light and their respect for each other grew.

Olena saw how impatient she had been and Ryan saw how passive he had been. She saw how immature she had been and he saw how much he took her for granted.

They both learned their lessons but they couldn’t go back. They parted as friends. They are still in touch and will be. They will always wish each other well. 

 

How to be taking care of your parent’s emotions?

How to be caring towards our parents?

Every couple post marriage plan for their family. Sometimes its happens without our planning but majority makes their mind after completely planning about that. In earlier decades say in our grandparents period peoples never think about for family planning for them it’s a natural phenomenon which they happily welcomed in their marital life without bothering too much about the financial scenario. But now with this first growing technology, we always proceed our life with solidifying plans whether its relates to our career establishment, financial strategy or family planning.

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The intention of brought up ………….

As a parent, we always try to give the best within our range to our children with this intention that they get only the best in every aspect of life since from day one of their birth.

Now the thing is parents never do any act with this intention towards their children that in future how much they will get in return of their caring.

Now when our children climbed up in their professional arena with their each achievement we feel as if it’s the result of our hard dedication which pays us with the growth of their establishment. Where we as parents never expect that in future our children will look after us with their hard earned money in our old age.

Imagine your son get married and he now settled his nuclear family at the posh location and they came for a fortnight to stays your home during the summer vacation of your grandchild with gifts. Now it’s obvious that you treat them with your utmost care and affection. Now when your son ask you about your well being and you by intentionally try to hide him about your crisis but as a son, he is able to read his parent’s forehead stress lines so his insisting finally makes you unfold the truth about your debt under the bank. Yes, the bank loan which you took for your son’s abroad education, his marriage, and house renovation yet not been cleared fully. As you thought that after his career settlement he might contribute you for repaying the loan to come out from that debt but he was so entangled in his own life that waved off about his parent’s debt.

The unexpected returns of brought up ………..

Now the question arise in front of your son that post aware about the situation how he will consider the situation’s depths?

In the first case imagine, He next day while doing breakfast with you assured that he with his family would be going back to their home on that day itself because certain urgency in his work field suddenly popped up and that’s why he have to leave your home in the middle of the vacation. Now you insisting your son to stay for at least another a week by postponing that official vital work but he was adamant in his decision. So finally with the heavy heart, you allowed them to proceed but you packed your handmade lunch with their baggage so that they could skip the outside food.

Before they depart now when you called up your 6 years old grandchild in your bedroom to share few gifts with her and starts crying by holding her little puffy hands as you missed her a lot suddenly your grandchild spelled out by seeing you upset that “why are you crying grandma just because we are leaving your home, don’t cry please! Allow me to enjoy the next trip of hills, as my wish of the glance to the fountain hope God listened last night, that’s why Dad booked our tickets for hills today straight away from here. So we will return our home probably after a week. So be cheer up! But I promise you that next time we will surely stay for long with you and grandpa.”

Now you understood that why your son suddenly lies you by using the fake cause of official work because he wants to elope from the situation. Your son scared as if he would continue to further his vacation and in the mean, while you knocked him for the repay of the loan then he might felt embarrassed to say NO to you in front of his child that’s why he skipped from your home early at next day. So your son opts the easiest way of better to skip from the situation rather say No for it.

Now say, in the second case, at next day he personally visits the bank where his father has been debt badly and asked the officials for the possible options of transferring the file of the loan under his name so that he could now clear the remaining part of that loan amount.

We as a parent never thought for a second time when the question arises about the well being of our child that’s why we often fail to stick with our savings during the emergency needs of our children and ready to surrender the amount in the middle of the maturity tenure. But our children teach us that how to strict with their hard earned money by ignoring the closed one’s significant needs.

When the children give back the love and support which their parents have given to them when they were young, parents feel very happy and proud of them.

The rules of love are different than the rules of business, but the principles of reciprocity are always part of every relationship.

You must always make a rule to pay back everyone who has done any good to you in your life so that you can die free of debt and full of peace.

What is your definition of true love?

The beginning of golden days…………

Emily and Andrew both same age of 22 years old fell in love for each other during their college days. The most sensual time of our life when we love to feel the emotions of our life profoundly without any strain and too much bother about the past, present and future scenario. Exactly Emily and Andrew also spent their days with lots of vows for their upcoming future but they skip to include one major thing in their promise. Now, what is that significant aspect which we majority skip while giving words to our beloved during those lovable days at the initial of our journey?

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Emily was short and dark with bulky waist and Andrew in his thick high power glasses with the dark complexion, both didn’t so attractive for others. But their looks were always appreciated by each others perspective. Truly said that “beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder” Yes…this is love.

For others they are ugly but for them, they are the most beautiful person in the earth. Like other girls, Emily loves to wear western outfit but the thing is nothing goes perfectly in her bulky short height even if she wore Jeans then its looks quite funny in her 4’8”. That’s why she preferred for eastern outfits with vibrant colors whereas she knew that her dark skin texture not at all goes with those dark shades but for Andrew, she wore those specific bold colors like red, blue, mauve, yellow because Andrew loves to see her in those dark colorful dresses.

While walking on road peoples often used to laugh at them but they didn’t bother ever on anyone’s comments. Yes….this is love, where we both are the compliment to each other forever. Though in the aspect of looks they couldn’t beat others in intelligence, they always stood as number one. Emily and Andrew both ranked in class with 2 or 3 marginal gaps scoring between them which were really appreciatable by professors. Even if anyhow they found that their faculty appreciates to anyone among them then they instantly placed their partner’s performance to them in the sense of highlighting that their partner also equally doing best on that particular subject.

Though in the aspect of looks they couldn’t beat others while in intelligence, they always stood as number one. Emily and Andrew both ranked in class with 2 or 3 marginal gaps scoring between them which were really appreciatable by professors. Even if anyhow they found that their faculty appreciates to anyone among them then they instantly placed their partner’s performance to them in the sense of highlighting that their partner also equally doing best on that particular subject. Yes…this is love, where they liked to share the appreciation also together.

Andrew, the only child of his parents who belongs from a rich family whereas Emily the elder sister among 3 sisters who belongs from a middle-class family. Andrew during earlier days of his college used to dress up like rich guys where he never wore the same t-shirt twice in his life whereas Emily who used to continue the same eastern (Patiala salwar) outfit for 3 or 4 days. For her only two set of clothes was enough for her collage purpose which she washed regularly and wore without ironing the clothes. Her lump sum earning from part time job of tuition aid her in education expense which she never wastes for buying any cosmetics or other girly accessories ever. But Andrew post fell in love with Emily, now continued his same t-shirt for 3 or 4 days (washable only without ironing) exactly like Emily because he doesn’t want to make her feel poor in front of him. Yes….this is love, where to be empathetic about each other matters a lot.

Later few years……………

In this way, there are many aspects where they both gladly accepted opposite’s liking and dislikings without any objection. With time the intensity of their bonding compounded. Later a few years now they both well settled in different MNC.

Like others, Andrew’s parents also have a dream regarding their son’s marriage. Andrew wasn’t so good looking that’s why his mother forever wished for a beautiful bride for him with this hope that their would be grandchild will surely be born with a pretty face.

 Andrew acknowledged his parents about his intense affair with Emily and his hard determination of marrying her. Needless to explain his parent’s reaction..his parents first time felt that their son has enough grown up to take his vital decision of life without bothering about his parent’s emotion and wish. His mother was completely against of this marriage as she wished for a beautiful bride for her only son.

 Andrew’s mother narrated him that Emily neither beautiful nor a compatible match for him but Andrew summarised his mother that “Emily is the most beautiful girl on this earth, who only made for me, so don’t ever go with her physical appearance try to discover the inner beauty within her, the real human being.” Yes….this is love, where physical beauty not matters in the aspect of internal beauty.

There Emily’s parents don’t have any objection regarding this marriage but one thing which they assured to Andrew is that they couldn’t bear the expense of marriage in a grand way nor could provide the dowry to groom’s family. But for Andrew, all those small issues couldn’t pause his aim of getting Emily in his life for forever. So finally they did court marriage with this pledge that their affection and trust towards each other will remain constant for forever.

Their new beginning……………

Andrew and Emily entered in their new journey of marital life where the question arise is would their intense affection towards each other remain same in their coming days?

Post marriage they both now engrossed in their career and responsibility where they didn’t get the time also to share few quality moments with each other. For them, their relationship now reached at the safest verge where it’s not mandatory to spare at least an hour like earlier days. Moreover, for them, they knew each other’s vein thoroughly then why to sit together for indulging each other’s unwillingness and willingness.

They both felt tired after the long working exhausted schedule which declined their enthuse for spending few couple of hours. There Andrew’s mother wasn’t pleased with her daughter-in-law, so she never asked for anything from Emily which was quite embarrassing for Emily as a newly wedded wife. Not even her mother-in-law ever allowed her steps in kitchen work or for any other household work. She told this matter to her husband Andrew but for Andrew, it’s his mother’s affection towards her daughter-in-law. Emily thought might be Andrew was right in his view so she overlooked the matter. Andrew called her mother as Mamma so Emily also called the same to her mother-in-law.

Later 2 months of their marriage now Emily wants seriously few responsibilities of her in-law’s house for which she directly asked her mother-in-law that “why Mamma you don’t give me to do any household work like other mother-in-laws gives to their daughter-in-law?” Her Mamma replied to her “Emily, this is your initial days where you should concentrate on your husband and job, don’t take stress about household work and cooking I’m here to look after after for all those things.”

 There Andrew forever praised his mother for her affection and kindness towards her daughter-in-law. Emily initially ignored that but with passing days she now realized that her mother-in-law didn’t like her daughter-in-law’s interference in their family and that is the reason she never allowed Emily in any household work. Not only that in front of guests she always pretends that her office going daughter-in-law neither care towards her family’s duties nor had the time for cooking or any other household work and that is why she still in her 60s had been continuing all those.

Why such discrimination?…………..

Emily now directly narrated all those issues to her husband but this time Andrew assured her that she wouldn’t ready to accepts his mother’s kindness instead always pointing her because she couldn’t adjust with his mother.

Next day Andrew told his mother directly that she should allow her daughter-in-law for cooking because Emily needs to learn all those as she is the daughter-in-law of their house so let her allowed for all those. His mother replied that as a working woman how could she manage time for cooking but still if Emily insists for that then she doesn’t have any issue.

Emily was very happy as she got the approval for doing cooking first time for her husband and family. But unfortunately, none couldn’t swallow the food making by her as its so tasteless. She narrated them that how she cooked delicious items for her parents before marriage during weekends but now she not understood that how suddenly the same recipe turned so tasteless that not even she swallowed that.

 Not only for a day in fact after every alternate day she messed up their meals by making tasteless food. Finally after a few days now Andrew assured her that better she stay away from his mother’s kitchen because she should first learn cooking from his mother then only she would be allowed to cook further until and unless no need to stepped in at the kitchen. Emily tried to justify herself right but Andrew wasn’t ready to listen her justification for him she asked the opportunity of cooking from his mother but she failed to proof herself eligible for that task.

In this way in many small-small aspects of the household task, she proved her imperfection like the burning of clothes while ironing, misplaced her husband’s important file.

Slowly her mistakes became the cause of their arguments which now with passing days cultivated distance between the couple. For Emily, her soulmate now failed to read her mind and for Andrew now his beloved became irresponsible towards her marital life. Emily realized that something is going wrong but what’s that? As her mother-in-law never talked loud with her nor she ever counts her daughter-in-law’s mistakes. Then who is responsible and how each thing one after another going against her?

The truth revealed…………

There Andrew was enough exhausted of her every day’s justification. Finally, Emily decided to keep on eyes on her mother-in-law’s activities and her suspicion towards her mother-in-law was proved correct. Now she understood the truth behind the screen was something different like whatever work she does whether it’s cooking or ironing or to keep important documents in the locker, her mother-in-law very shrewdly messed up all those so that Emily forever proved as a worthless and careless in front of her husband and all.

Now she summarized everything to Andrew at the closed door, needless to explain the situation that how difficult it’s for a son to gulp all those allegations against his benevolent mother from his beloved wife. So the result was quite common for us that now only wife sustain in the man’s life that beloved term waved off instantly….is it, love? Where the trust and faith are so fragile……

Andrew next day in front of his mother narrated everything which had been blaming by Emily against his mother.

Mamma: I love the utmost to my son, in that aspect his liking and disliking matters for me a lot then how could I think also to give pain to you Emily? When I know it firmly that what’s the importance of yours in my son’s life.

Andrew: Exactly Mamma I also try to make her understand the same thing that my Mamma loves you like her daughter unless she might behave like typical mother-in-law who always one step ahead to treat with their daughter-in-law as their personal maid, whereas my Mamma never ask you for any household work not even for cooking also she never told you anything ever for your often mistakes in many works.

Emily: Yes, it’s true that Mamma never asked me for any household work because she never likes the interference of her daughter-in-law in her family.

Andrew: How so mean is your thoughts against my Mamma, I never thought that one day my Mamma’s over indulgence towards you makes you feel negative towards her kind and affectionate intention.

Emily: Then ask your mother why she messed up my each deed either its cooking or ironing behind my eyes?

Andrew: about to slap her… but his mother held his hand. See.., this is my mother about whom Emily you pointed the finger now she held my hand from slapping you.

 Her mother-in-law’s crocodile tears now melt her son towards her within a fraction of second that he even forget those oath taken by them during their initial golden days of affairs……where to be empathetic about each other matters a lot.

Break up of eternal love……….

Actually Mamma forever wished for a beautiful rich bride for her only adorable son Andrew but when Andrew without bothering about his parent’s acceptance married to his choice able girl then his Mamma planned that only her diplomatic ploys could separate them because she never like Emily as her daughter-in-law since beginning so at any cost she wanted to throw Emily from her son’s life. That’s why she always pretends her kindness and generosity in front of all even in front of Emily also so that none could ever doubt on her any act.

They got separated and the issue finally moved to court for the mutual divorce. During this tenure of separation, they never called up to each other. For both, they never thought that they would be failed to keep their promise of being together for forever in the middle of their journey of life. The day came when they were about to sign the court papers at the bench by witnessing their lawyers and Judicial Magistrate asked to both for their final decision of separation then Andrew asked “Your Honour may I say few words to Emily …my wife?”

 The magistrate granted his permission, now Andrew told to Emily in front of the bench “Emily you remembered our earlier days of the affair when we both had taken many pledges for our upcoming life about our eternal love but with the time that eternity has faded. But among all those vows we have forgotten to take one significant vow and that is we shouldn’t allow any second person in between us who would manipulate our relationship. I taught this biggest lesson from my father who never left my mother’s hand whatever wrong act she did in her life so I realized my biggest mistake of not relying upon your words so would you like to give one more chance to our eternal love?”

Emily with teary eyed acknowledged her acceptance……Yes ……. this is True Love! Where we will prefer to die but never give up….