I can do things as per my wish and choice without bothering about any one. The room is all mine. I can stay in stripped also. The bed is all mine, can roll in my bed without disinclination even I can sleep all day without anyone disturbing me. I can stay in the bathroom as long as I want. Only cook the dishes I want to eat. I can check out everything I want on my laptop. Go home wee hours of the morning without feeling sheepish of hanging out with new found friends and drinking the night away.
Because I never found someone who deserves me!
Now, this doesn’t mean that I’m a weird person who comes from a very high-class family, is filthy rich, distinctly ravishing and is extremely accomplished.
I’m an ordinary person who comes from a middle-class family, average looking and not so skilled, but you see my problem is that I’m a very practical, yet very emotional person. Now, trust me, this is a RARE combination and is very dangerous.
I grew up in an environment where I always had to go extra miles to prove myself. Initially, I was this innocent girl who knew nothing about the cruel world out there and it’s ugly reality. I considered every person is genuine and real, as I’m, but oh dear lord, such a big mistake it was.
So, for years, I kept on dealing with fake people who had double standards and were wearing this mask that helps to hide their real face.
I remember that feeling well… But there is nothing wrong with being the last one in your group who is single. It’s all about timing, in my opinion, God’s timing.
It’s not so taking it easy when all the peoples around me in the relationship and I’m not. Their priorities change from friends to the lover. They don’t even feel bad to say no for plans, spends less time with me. Even if they are with me either they’ll be on phone or talking about their SO.
My overwhelming exaltation……….
When I was dreaming about my prince by abolishing all the status in between us.The little girl in me, who grew up watching Titanic movie and fantasizing about a perfect love fairy tale where the prince is truly madly in love with his princess and always takes care of her, started meeting with people who are obsessed with the idea of love and have absolutely no clue about what love is. For others, it was something that could be tagged as MIRTH, just that! Nothing more than that
For me, love means mirth too, but it’s a lot more than that. For me, it means knowing my dream guy. Knowing his likes and dislikes. It’s about knowing what expectations he is holding from his life and how having me in his life will make a difference. No, I can’t compromise with any of the above. It’s better to be single than being in a meaningless relationship.
I wanted to connect more. I wanted to know more about the person I’m being with. I wanted to travel the road of his childhood with him where I can see whether he loved cricket more or football. I wanted to know if he realizes the difference between having parties to chill out or sitting near a beach with me to have a conversation.
I never found that someone who can kiss my forehead and tell me that he is equally proud of myself.
Somewhere there is the sparseness…..……
For my closed ones, I become accustomed to the coziness of my life which not allowing me to come out from that shield to accept someone because for them I have the apprehension of facing the ups and downs of the relationship. It’s completely absurd to me but the thing is I couldn’t spell out to the world that I don’t want to act as per other’s wish. At the end of the day, it’s my life where at least I have the discretion to express my views without any disinclination.
The only other time when I feel a little discontented with being single is on my birthday. After college, I don’t have a group of friends who will surprise me with cake on my birthday or spend a whole day making a handmade gift for me.
I barely get few phone calls mostly from family and FB wall full of wishes from people I know, nobody makes me feel special.
I think if I can’t enjoy my own company if I can’t stay happy when I’m single. How do I expect someone else to enjoy my company?
Presume that I’m preparing myself for the person who will be entering my life soon. Make myself better, improve a little for that person.
And being single is great. I have time to work on myself work on my hobbies, polish my skills.
To neutralize the notion…………
we commonly become emotional, either in times of sorrow e.g. at being separated from a loved one, at experiencing failure in an external event, on hearing a negative news, etc. or in times of joy.
The kind of stress is generally made up sorrow, anger, and fear – one of these three different negative emotions from time to time or more than one at the same time – phases of dejection or feeling low or a lack of enthusiasm or a general disinterest in life events; phases of frustration and experiencing a lack of control of events and people, due to which there are frequent outbursts of anger and phases of immense worry regarding the future, all of which affect our mind, our physical body, relationships and even success of our role; although it is our role itself (our over-identification with it) which is the root cause of this emotional turmoil inside us. So instead of benefitting our role, our over-concern for it starts affecting it adversely.
Doctors inform us that over 90% of the physical body’s illnesses have a psychosomatic (mental) origin i.e. they are a direct or indirect result of our state of mind. That makes the human body the prime example of how thoughts affect matter.
Remember at the end of the day don’t obsess about it, just relax & live your life. Don’t compare your status to your friends, just enjoy yourself, & when you meet “the one’ you will see it was well worth the wait!!! Hang in there, it will get so much better!