My friend Laura with her family came back to City after a long time. Just after her married, she left the city due to her husband’s transferable job in Defence Army. Now she back after 15 years in her hometown permanently when her elder son Gavin 14 years and Kian 12 years old. Parent’s transferrable job actually troubled children a lot. Every time with the new place they have the strain to cope up with their new peer’s group by left their bestie.
She invited me, on a very fine day I went to meet with her. Post-formal introduction with her family, we sat for our chit chat. We began from where we dropped decades ago. We became engrossed in our past, where I still remember how our mother in our childhood days used to shout on us ‘dont play inside, you are going to break something! Go outside and play with your group.’ Those were the days, but now along with children their parents also wants their kids to stick with their video games, mobile phone, puzzle boxes. Actually, it’s not the mistake of children the reason behind of their love and interest towards indoor games is just because of our causes.
Causes of parents to allow for indoor plays………….
Like my friend Laura who brought up her two sons with her best. She always tried to compete with other parents in respect of her commitment towards her kids. She told me that when Gavin her elder son asked for the cycle on his 5th birthday. They provided him while alerting that he didn’t enter the appropriate age for cycling on the road so he should be allowed for cycling at a specific area in their lawn but kids always waiting for their parent’s diversion of attention upon them particularly when they enjoy their games.
Gavin met a small accident as he went on the road during cycling, it’s a minor one but still for a mother, it’s a major one so from that onward she even restricted her sons for cycling alone and permitted them with all indoor games. Now Gavin and his younger brother Kian allowed for cycling and playing with their neighbor’s kids only when Laura herself goes with them at evening.
There Laura’s husband Paul always alert her that ‘dont allowed kids with unknown neighbors in her absence.’ It’s quite reasonable for parents unless they get to know their new neighbors thoroughly. Because we often do mistakes by allowing our kids for playing with locality’s children without scrutinized about their attitude and psychology where the risk for chances of bad with them is high.
Reasons whatever its but the children lost their freedom for playing outdoor games just because of their parent’s interference and objection now the thing is neither Laura nor her husband was wrong about their standpoint but for kids, it’s like a punishment.
The new way for amusement………..
Almost all parents decide that they will handover mobile to their kids only after they attend for board exams but the hardest truth is that only 20% parents able to strict on their said statements. Laura now gave video games to her sons, her initial step towards gadget for making them sit at home for indoor amusement. Kids enjoying lots as first time after hard pieces of puzzle game they had been enjoying their games only by using their finger tips. Where no such brain labor or physical exhaustion need for their refreshment not even they need any companion now.
With the increasing of their age and class now the kids were friendly with two more significant gadget of our life, mobile, and computer.
Addiction towards gadget………..…
After basic learning lessons of the computer now the kids in their teenage starts exploring the social media. Laura narrated that how her kids slowly addicted towards those gadgets. Initially, kids felt enjoyed by taking selfie only but from the day one when they aware about the internet seemed like they discover the world as per their definition. Now their full concentration absorbed towards the internet, first time Gavin and Kian felt the essence of knowledge with bright live colorful audio video images.
Laura and her husband tried to control their kids sometimes by making them understand the pros and cons of usage of internet constantly or by scold them. Kids adamancy grew with time now Gavin 14years and Kian 12 years old, where their age wasn’t appropriate to scroll the viral section of social media but still they now addicted towards pornography, and this poison now sucking Laura’s kids rapidly which is the evidence of their poor grading in mark cards.
Even they are now so addicted that even ready to fight with their parents often whenever they get objected for having views on that. Her husband stopped for their pocket money even they disconnected the internet connection but nothing paused her kids as they now enjoyed those in their school and tuition by their peer groups.
The adverse effect of social media…………
No denial, the technology helps us to connect with other people. Social networks are a prime example of this. But, at the same time, once our kids get used to this form of communication, they will avoid all other social contexts.
Tormentor like to hide behind the screens. Children are still exposed to malice in schools and playgrounds, and if we give them another place where anyone can harass them, we will be generating real disasters in their psyche. The phenomenon of cyber bullying is very common, unfortunately horrific.
Studies so far show that a good number of high school students have faced this at least once in their school life. Viral short movies, text messages or social networks are just some of the things that cause addiction among children who display only a part of theirs. Children don’t always understand the consequences of their actions so they can make bad choices at any time if they are not monitored. Some of them, such as compromising photos that could leave a long lasting impact on their life. In such situation where it’s about protecting their dignity, they deteriorate their self-esteem.
The most unpleasant thing about using the internet is that we cannot preserve anonymity. Even if we have activated the strictest privacy setting, social media accounts can expose us. By mistake, should that data goes in the wrong hand, we can imagine the trouble we could be in. The location is one of them, say our child will make a selfie on the street, and people might realize just depending on where the decor and surroundings. A photo with his classmate at school could reveal learners. We have to think well of all these things before giving the hand a phone.
Diversion from addiction…………..
Around each corner of the street, we get children under this age playing violent video games and maintaining their social media profile even from their parent’s phone. Therefore it’s very vital not to rush and wait until as a parent we do not feel comfortable with the decision of giving our kid this gadget. If our instincts tell us that it’s too early to do that then we should be mindful of them and postpone the moment.
Laura even acknowledged me that how her kids every day spent constant hours in front of computer, television, tablet, mobile phone, and other similar gadgets. As a parent, she has the responsibility to monitor and even limit the exposure to the media, so as not to affect health and education.
But the question is will her kids ready to listen to their parent’s voice? The answer is simple NO!… because we must understand their psychology that they are going through the hormonal changes in their teenage where the adamancy and arrogance towards their elders are quite natural. This is the phase where apart from bookish knowledge and loud voice if we implement our wise tricks for diverting their mindset by pampering their desire to channelise it in the right direction then it will work out more effectively than by the usage of the old pattern of scolding to our kids.
But for Laura and her husband they couldn’t keep their eyes on their kids around the clock yet they talked with kids once thoroughly with soft tone for made them understand the hooks and nooks of social media but kids ignored their parent’s soft tone so finally they again use the loud voice to make the thing perfect.
Moreover, when we gift our child such a gadget say mobile phone then that is only his, neither we won’t be able to monitor our kid’s these activities nor we won’t be having any idea about our child’s social and online life. Instead, it’s much easier to lend our phone or tablet for some applications. This way, we can measure the time our kid spend with such activities and we can also supervise the pages he access when using the internet.
Laura’s husband now posts understanding the situation’s gravity decides to send his kids to Army boarding school because as an Army person he failed to implement his strictness 24*365 upon his family so with teary eyed they had taken the decision for kids well being established future.
So at the end of the day, it’s completely our choice that how we brought up our kids either by competing with others or by implementing our strict Army norms with our kids.