When I feel good about me?

Feeling good………

“Remove the dirt in your eyes first before that of another person”…

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If my busy schedule doesn’t have the time to spend hours with my parents then at least I try to spend few minutes with them even if it seems a time factor then I simply go with a hug… hope this one no need any explanation it’s self-explanatory. As they’re always older than me, they’ll most likely die before me, so I just try to celebrate with them while they are alive. It makes my day with a good feeling.

Though I yet not married I have cogitated some dreams to appease my hubby when he comes from office as men are more stressed in office nowadays.

I will prepare his favorite snacks with coffee for him in the evening, will make over myself in a ravishing way which he likes to see me. When he will sip the hot coffee, will give him supple shoulder and head massage to relieve his stress and finally, if his arousal wants more then I will happily go with that also…

Now the thing is neither my hubby ordered me for all those nor he requested but I did it because at the end of the day I want to feel good with my spouse and while doing all those things I never felt at least once that in return what he will give me? It’s my wish that how I will be with my loved one!

To make over self…………

It’s a vital task to do for which I don’t spend hours to make that instead I love to do one task at a time according to it (nope multitasker). I plan for a schedule of early get-up habits, exercise a bit then meditate (of course to stay healthy physically and mentally). I love reading to enhance my knowledge which aids to cultivate my better perspective towards any issue resolving.

As a meditator, it’s enhanced my listening and observing power to analyze the situation for act accordingly than others. As an introvert, I want to become smarter when its comes to talking to others sharing my ideas and views in specific because I like to place my statement in short when peoples think I’m smart enough about my conversation and they ask me to explain my said statement.

  • I Stopped over thinking and procrastination.
  • At least spend few hours to read something knowledgeable
  • Avoiding masturbation cause it will drain my energy and I feel tired so can’t focus on anything.
  • In free time love to spend some quality time with my solitude and introspect.
  • Keep me away from gossips and negative talk about people.
  • Set me free from one sided love it is only a quagmire.
  • Never compare me with anyone nor blindly focus on success stories of others. All people use a different kind of strategies to complete the task in my way.
  • Loves to listen to music, watch movies, play outdoor games, laugh with my genuine friends, cherish good memories. All these things keep me happy.

You will always face difficulties………..

Difficulties will always come every day, no matter how small it might be or how large it might seem, never let it get the best of you.

It might be a financial problem (e.g poverty, college fees/loans), a psychological problem (e.g depression), a health problem, and even death. (Death may take away your loved ones and it’s very sad and difficult to cope, especially when that person is the breadwinner of your family.)

There will be a problem somewhere in our lives; even if you have all the money in the world, there will be a something bothering you.

Try to learn to be optimistic.

See every mistake, failure, or difficulty as part of life and never allow these problems get the best of you.

They will idolize you if you find a solution to them and create a product out of it because it’s certain that someone somewhere is experiencing the same problem.

 People will always talk bad things about me no matter how good/generous/kind I’m…….

Even Jesus had haters; everyone has them.

No matter how good I’m to people they will still complain; human beings cannot and will not ever be satisfied.

I never listen too much to my critics—they will always find something bad about me.

Say the two weather conditions… the summer season and the rainy season. Whenever it’s sunny we complain, “haa this sun is too much Oh God! why are we not in the rainy season?

And during the rainy season, we will be like, “I don’t like rainy season everywhere is always flooded God please bring back the sun!”

Can you see now that people can’t be fully satisfied with a given condition or product?

Just keep on doing the right thing and don’t listen to everybody, because some people will just hate you for no reason, especially when you have a large following.

Difficulty as part of life…………..

We had a maid to do daily cleaning of the house and wash utensils. She took a sudden leave of 5 days without informing us. So now rest you can imagine that how difficult its for me to manage the house and office. In those days my parent’s health condition wasn’t supporting them, which was one of the biggest stress for me above that the sudden disappearance of my maid from work was enough reason to increase my blood pressure. It was Sunday my off day but the weekly ritual of washing the clothes too was to be done the same day. I was cooking the meal in the kitchen, washing the clothes in the washing machine and sweeping the house simultaneously.

Suddenly someone knocked at the door, I was engrossed in the kitchen so dad opened the door. I asked dad about the person from kitchen but dad won’t replied then I thought to check and found that our maid was there. Now just imagine for a second what would be my instant reaction towards her? Maybe my annoyance will be staring at her which she also expecting. But I tried to insinuate her to have sit first but she was tried to explain me the reasons of her uninformed sudden leave of 5 days. As I was completely drained so without bothering much about rest things and told her again to have sit. She asked me after 10 minutes that whether any household chore was pending yet for her which she would finish? I replied her NO, but my reply seemed to be quite discomforting to her. In the meantime, my parents came out from the room and before they start queried her about her sudden leave, I just interrupted immediately to them and told them to go inside the room because I want to talk with her.

I served her the cooked meal with a glass of water which shocked her then asked her “tell me whether everything is perfect in the recipe?” She with her amazing look told me ‘Haan didi’ (yes.. sister)!

Now after had the meal when she begs to apologize for her carelessness towards her work then I gave her the full month salary in her hand without deducting a single rupees of her unannounced leave days and aware her that, “yes… I also understand her situation so whatever may be the reason I don’t eager to listen to all those but surely I wish from further she will at least inform us prior to taking such long leave from work.”

You won’t believe she cried like a small kid and begging constantly sorry and confessing that she was tired from her regular schedule of physical labour that’s why she went for a short trip to the nearby location of the city for a change with her family but she dare not spelled the truth to her masters because none would grant her 5 days leave.

Since that day to till today our maid could off from rest all house but she never take any uninformed leave from our house and her sincerity towards us now grows than earlier.

Now the thing is, by serving the food and gave her the full month salary on that day when she back from her long 5 days leaves made her feel guilty, which she never expected from none because her general thinking was waiting for humiliation from her masters which made her a liar but my reverse attitude towards her not only surprised her but also made me feel really good that I won her confidence level for forever upon me.

Your Feelings ………….

Your feelings don’t really matter, you probably won’t feel like doing anything that will make you better but that doesn’t change the fact that you need to do them. Sure I think you should inspect your feelings and ask “Why do I feel this way?” but you should not use your feelings as a compass for your life, as following your feelings isn’t what builds a life that you want.

Stop thinking about others… You can’t stop someone thinking about you either good or bad. Own your imagination and enjoy your individuality.

 Don’t get attached to people… They’ll leave you anytime, so stop visualizing future with them, stop worrying about them. No one deserves to be ignored.

 Stop shirking your health… You may be busy in your work postponing health issues but your health doesn’t envisage it. Work will wait for your health but your health doesn’t.

Youth is not permanent…..Don’t let your physical beauty get into your head try and focus on your life goal and desires.

To fall for someone with spirit………

Most people really like to be loved. But are they giving love? It should be a yes. Are they able to express it? Tricky! I never think about myself that not getting loved instead I focus on how to do it.

I meant about expressing my feelings to the person I love, again my answer is YES. I am not talking about crushes or infatuation. I will do only if I can see a future with them. When I’m able to think of having a child like that person, then will go for it.

Our life is short. What’s in it if I don’t go for what I really want? But that doesn’t mean I can irritate the person to the core to get their love back. I just meant I should not regret about not expressing my love at a later point in time and realizing that I can’t do anything to change it.

The moral is expressing love in a healthy way will not do any harm but it can bring me a lot of happiness. Regret is something I should never have. Always do my part. Rest will fall in place.

If you are poor in expressing your feelings, I will suggest you one thing to try. Just open up your heart to the dearest person in your life. And then see the change in them. It can be your father, mother, sibling, best friend… I know it’s hard because even they might feel strange if you do that all of a sudden. Do it slowly and find out the difference. I can guarantee that you will be loved and cared more once they get to know how you feel for them. They will reciprocate it.

Self-loving is needed ………..

Only I walk the path alone for me. People care about my happiness only to some extent. If making me happy means they getting uncomforted, they will choose to be comfortable over my happiness and none could blame them because it’s not even wrong. No one was born to make me happy. The more I depend on people to make me happy, the more I will be going sadly. Just like I sometimes disappoint people, people also will disappoint me. It’s true for them as much as it is true for me. I am no one’s number one priority. I felt bad initially, now I am okay with it.

I won’t always be someone’s number one priority. People change, priorities change.. I may say that my best friend will be always there and they will come? Guess what, if he/she will too busy at that time.There are going to be times when no one will come to help me when I will fall down. Then I have to get up, dust me, and move on.

It always looks like everyone else is enjoying more than me. The truth is, they only showed me the best pages in their life’s diary. They also have worn out, battered and torn pages in between all those glamorous and well-maintained pages.

Everyone who knows me is going to say that I am always happy. What do they know that I tried to quit my life decades ago? Heck! This is the first time I have even mentioned it in all these years.

It also looks like everyone knows what they are doing in life. In reality, everyone is stumbling in the dark on the path which isn’t smooth. I just don’t know it. They are also stuck in a job they don’t like, doing things they don’t like and a boss they can’t stand with a head full of dreams about making it “big” some day.

Being happy is a choice and only I’m responsible for my happiness. 

 

 

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